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30 March, 2011

Fake Reality

 30th March 2011, Early Morning
"S, A, R and I were roaming as usual. Then I was back in my room, sleeping.  But this room was very different, kind of small, congested and complicated like cheap motel rooms with narrow dark corridors. S came to my room (blue shirt), he was wearing a head gear, quite a peculiar one, it had slots that were filled with poker chips, dice and cards. It even had a can on each side with straws directly ending near his lips. 'sssip' 'ssiiiip' he kept doing that now and then. "Awesome poker chips na..? Lets have some poker buddy." "I got this ...'siiip'...from ebay at 250 bucks...'sssip'..... cheap !!" He was grinning and giggling all over. Suddenly i was near 3rd gate, except there was no 3rd gate or VITU. A and R was also there. There was a med shop. The weather was strangely dark, cold and gloomy. It was like a heavy storm was coming. And everything was in black and white. A and R were standing close hand in hand and i didn't want to look at them. I started running across the deserted highway, it was suddenly crowded and all the people (expressionless) were hurrying back to their homes. I was frustrated and helpless, i threw my notebook in desperation. It flew across the footpath and hit a signboard and fell down. I bent down to pick it up when i saw R coming towards me, it  was getting cold by the minute;  she was freezing and there were tears in her eyes, she was looking like this cute little poor kitty in need of a warm hug, "Please don't go and i am sorry, really. Please don't run away from me, you are the only puzzle piece in my life that doesn't seem to fit anywhere yet without it my life is incomplete." I was like usual denying every fact and stating that everything was fine and OK..But this time there was something in her expression with tears and everything that i could no longer lie to her face and even to myself. I took her hand and hugged her till she cried her eyes out, holding her i took her to a coffee shop and we had coffee. I wrapped her with my jacket as she was freezing and shivering. A was nowhere in sight, i wouldn't care even if he was there. We were walking now and the scene changed , there was this house with a huge dog and two small extremely cute puppies, we bent down to pet the puppies, they were soo cute and adorable. Even R didn't deny this fact. But suddenly mama dog became very violent and started barking at me and it bit me. I couldn't believe it,  never in my life had a dog bitten me. Even mad dogs remains very calm and loving near me. It bit me not once, twice but several times. R didn't see this happening, she was with the puppies. When the owner came out mama dog calmed down. The owner was no other then our very own P. Strange no one noticed this whole event. R and I said goodbye to P. My hand was bleeding at several places inside the shirt and R didn't know about it; we walked on, she holding my hand with her head resting on my shoulder. I didn't mention  anything about my hand and that it needed immediate med attention cause i knew if i tell her that, she won't hold my hand as it was causing pain and would rush me to a doc. But all I wanted to was stay with her like that; the warm and satisfied feeling that i was having in my heart was far more pleasing than the pain of the slashes that mama dog inflicted upon me. And most importantly i didn't want that contended smile on her face to disappear."

11 March, 2011

Lucky Me

~ Dedicated to Pushkar

Friends are very hard to find. By friends i don't mean people who you enjoy to stay with most. Friends in this context i mean those few rare gems who cares for you in ways you don't enjoy much. They in their own mysterious little ways try to make sure you get what is needed for you (nothing less nothing more). Sometimes you get so angry, so frustrated  on them that you feel like shouting back at them. They would drive you to the verge of craziness and irritation to get your chores done, to get rid of your harmful addictions. They would literally drive you mad. But at the end of the day you realize what they have done for you, how much they care for your well being and brighter future. Without them there would be no one to guide you, no one to double check if the things you are doing is right or wrong, no one to scold you for your wrong deeds. If you find this definition of friend wrong, then you haven't yet found a TRUE friend. I am really lucky to have acquired one of these rare little gems; Pushkar. I never thought i would find someone who would truly care for me. He is the most trust worthy friend that i have ever come across in my life.
Pushkar, I am extremely sorry for my recent deeds and my irrational behavior. I know you think that i am not trying and i am ignoring your lectures but trust me i will live up to my expectations and i am trying my best. I know i get angry and i repeat my mistakes and i am really sorry for that. Without you i will be really helpless and the lack of guidance will eventually result in my downfall. So please never threaten me of our friendship... And really thanx for everything (abstract / concrete).

Will be always there for you...